I'm Over Dating...and You Should Be Too

*All of the below is real, personal experiences*

I have gone on dates where men had no friends, showed up with their friends, and talked only about their friends. I have dated emotionally unavailable, extremely needy, and commitment-phobic men. Men who believed racism was a made-up concept. Men who laid out a near-future timeline of marriage and children on the first date. Men who wanted a wife who would stay home, cook, and clean for them. One thing is for sure: nobody can say I haven't put myself out there. In fact, you could probably call me a professional dater. So why is it impossible to find a connection with someone?

If you are in public reading this, look up. How many people are on their cell phones? People struggle to disconnect from the technological world and connect and interact with people face to face. Meeting someone in person is nearly impossible in our technology driven world.

I wasn't having any luck, so I decided to give online dating a shot. I tried Tinder, Bumble, OKCupid, Plenty of Fish, and even Match. Match is a paid membership website, so I assumed my options would be great. Oh, was I wrong. On my very first Match date, I could smell the guy's death-breath from the moment he said, "Hey". I followed through with the date, paid for my own meal, and later told him it wouldn't work out. He texted me for months after, saying I should reconsider. 9 months later, I came across his Facebook account... and he's a father to a newborn. Funny how these things work.

I also gave Tinder a shot. I know a lot of people who use it, so I decided to give it a chance. One of my dates wanted to go to Six Flags Great Adventure. I'm acrophobic and didn't think it would be a great idea, but he insisted we would have fun. I drove there to meet him... and apparently a group of his friends. He made me wait while they rode on a roller coaster. He texted me while he was in line, telling me he felt badly....but obviously not bad enough to get out of line.

On another Tinder date, a guy invited me out for drinks at a dive bar. His eyes were a little intense for me and that should have been my first clue. He laughed way too hard at my jokes, even the ones that weren't funny. He held my hand (which is fine), but then rolled my sleeve up and tried to rub my arm. I pulled my sleeve back down, removed my hand from his, and gave him a glare. Then, he asked me for my five year plan. I was still working on my Associates Degree, so I said my five year plan was to graduate, find a job I enjoy, and be in a healthy relationship. His five year plan was to be married and have a child. I said very directly, "Then you probably shouldn't date me". He told me that if I was married to a man making enough money, I wouldn't need to work. That disgusted me more than the arm rubbing. Being a housewife has never been my end plan.

I decided to check out Bumble. I thought I would like it because the woman gets to be in control of starting the conversation. One guy held really interesting conversation, so I accepted his invitation to a date. Conversation was on point....so what could possibly go wrong? I decide to Google search his name that weekend. The first thing to pop up is a news article. I click on it, and a mug shot pops up on the screen. What was he arrested for? you may wonder. Possession and distribution of child pornography, that's what. (Mom, if you are reading this, I'm sorry but this is a true story). Let's just say, background checks are on my to-do list before dating anybody.

I think it's safe to say that the dating world is not as fabulous as the rom-com world makes it out to be. We live in a culture where you are expected to get married and have children. But why should we? Wouldn't we rather be single than marry someone who isn't worthy of our time and attention? Let's stop settling. Let's stop thinking people will change. Let's stop giving people the benefit of the doubt. Let's stop dating.

If you have any terrible dating stories that you are willing to share, please comment below!