One Sided Conversations With a Cat

There are two types of people in this world: people who like cats and people who don't. I don't understand how anybody couldn't like a cat....they have unique personalities, they are adorable meow-ing fuzzballs, and they are independent creatures that only ask for food, water, a clean litterbox, and daily head scratches.

My cat brightens up every day. He greets me when I come home from work and sleeps with me at night. I would rather spend a night in with my cat than go out and be social. I basically tell him everything that is going on in my life. Here are some of the most popular one-sided conversations I have with my furry best friend:

"I'm going out tonight. Don't hate me! PLEASE, DON'T HATE ME!!"

"I'm not drinking wine alone on a weeknight....you're here."

"This is the episode where Michael Scott performed an entire Law and Order episode as an audition for Sweeney Todd"

Cat: *sniffs me after a date*

Me: "Don't worry, you're the only man in my life"

"Ugh, I just want to smoosh my face in your pumpkin spice belly!"

"Ooooh, do you want chicken vegetable stew or tuna and vegetable? Yeah, I think it's a tuna day today, too."

"If you want to talk back to me, you better start paying your own rent. Time to pick up a job."

"I got all A's this semester! High Five!"

"You are so ungrateful. I give you a warm house. I give you food. I give you love. Why won't you let me hug you?"

"Do you think I should wear this dress or the dress pants with this top? Ugh, you're right....the dress shows too much leg."

"Meow if you love me" *kisses cat, cat meows angrily* "Awww, I knew you loved me"